#AlaskanBushPeople “Sink Or Swim” What I Learned From This Episode of Cinematic Perfection……


1. The show needs a new intro instead of “Deep in the heart of the Alaskan Bush a family was found” How about “Deep in the middle of the Hoonah dump a wheelchair was found…..”

2. The boat’s name is in direct contradiction with the family’s code of conduct.

3. The Skiff is the real star.

4. Noah now has a wheelchair and a cane for a mental illness #GeniusNoah

5. Bam has serious anger issues and hates being a Brown the way Caitlyn hates wearing a jock strap.


6. You can buy pizza in Hoonah, but you don’t have money for gloves for when it’s snowing.

7. Leather jackets are always a bad idea.

8. They forgot to put snow on the wolf pack’s hair during the delivery scenes

9. #GeniusNoah has Rosacea

10. You can tell #GeniusNoah is depressed because his collar is down.

11. Empty barrels really upped the risk factor…

12. Gabe resembles ugly versions of both Wolverine and Elvis, but speaks with exaggerated expressions like he wants us to read his lips…

13. Second dates are for “Soul Checks” and blazing cheeks.

14. Ami needs a working womb.

15. It goes from Blizzard to Summer in one commercial break!

16. Hard work causes Coma

17. A college education is a deal-breaker in a Brown relationship. Soulmates don’t get higher education, they just need to breed “Granbabies.”

18. Even Billy Brown thinks Noah is creepy.

19. #GeniusNoah will get his mama “Granbabies” in a jar to keep her company.

20. Dry-docking is free.

21. The word “Integrity” is being blasphemed on anything Brown related.

22. Hydraulics on a boat are necessary for a cargo hauling business, unless you have replaceable boys with low IQ’s.

23. Ami is happy the extensive boat-rot is taking attention away from her teeth.


About bitchbybravo (369 Articles)
Blogging under an alias so I don't have to kill you....

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