Below Deck Episode 5 “Ironing The Captain’s Shorts” Rocky’s Dancing On The Edge-Someone Just Needs To Give Her A Push!

5 charters w rocky woes

So the date with Rocky and Emile is like watching an uninterested Bachelor finalist  facing the “Fantasy Suite.” No good can come from further efforts after failing the chemistry test. Unfortunately nobody told Emile, who thinks the relationship just needs more work. Televisions all over America screamed at Emile to run when the show aired, but he is young and will have to learn the hard way.Rocky is a wanna-be actress who signed up for Below Deck to become a star! Instead she’s ironing the Captain’s shorts with her dreams of stardom dying in between light and dark loads of laundry.

keep ironing capatins shorts

The clients this week were huge booze fans. When they found Don Julio 1942 Tequila was not available, after requesting it for their Charter, the attitudes got ugly.It was Kate’s bad because she didn’t buy it when provisioning, even though she saw it on the client’s preference sheet. Ever the clever Chief Stewardess, Kate immediately got on the phone to suppliers serving the Bahamas and found the rare Tequila! She had the liquor delivered to the Eros at sea, in full view of the clients. It actually worked to Kate’s favor with the primary guest applauding her efforts, and convinced they had just witnessed the second coming of Christ. Amen Don Julio.

teq  Rocky Broadway

With Don Abemente leaving the boat suddenly last week, Captain Lee needed/hired a new deckhand from North Carolina named Dane. Such a great “Yachtie” name Dane! The Stews all think Dane is a fine piece of meat, except that he needs a tan. Rocky immediately decides Dane too will be hers. Perhaps she should have explained that to Emile? She is like a bitch in heat, and could benefit from a cold swim twice daily.

While the guests are still off the boat shopping, brainiac Chef Leon prepares dinner. Yep. Dinner party of zero. Even more interesting he blames Kate for not telling him the clients were off the boat. Yes he’s that stupid, because as Kate says,”He comes from Cruise Ships aka Walmart.” Leon has not mastered the social graces of yacht life. Dinner, Lunch, Bedtime, etc. are all regulated by the client, not the hired chef. How many more episodes until Ben comes back?

dead sexy dressing

The guests return to the boat having eaten on shore. Sorry Leon!! All they want is a cheese plate…..Can you say communication? This week’s clients do seem more “Carnival Cruise Line” than “Eros Private Yacht”, using teeth to open beer bottles, etc. So they don’t really notice Leon’s difficulty in the kitchen or with Kate. The primary guest ate two plates of Leon’s “Beef Cheeks” and would have downed a 3rd had we made it a buffet.

kate and leon

Kate’s success in finding Don Julio made the clients happier than a pound puppy rescue! They polished off the bottle with gusto and declared the Eros crew “the best on Earth!” Great way to keep the clients tipping like pimps Chief Stew! A whopping $2,500 tip was left for each member of the crew, thank-you Don Julio!! Time for the crew to PARTY!!

Rocky decides she want to play with Dane …… I decide to vomit, and use the time during her “foot-rub scene” with Dane to grab a snack so I don’t have to watch. I’m still hoping she gets fired or goes mental before we get further into the season. Watching Bravo promos we know somebody else quits still this season.Let’s hope it’s a double hit with Rocky and Leon both getting plane tickets, and the audience getting a break from them both! Until next week! ~Bitch By Bravo


About bitchbybravo (369 Articles)
Blogging under an alias so I don't have to kill you....

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