1.) Anyone who puts their Children’s issues on a Bravo TV show deserves to have them taken away, no matter what their age is during filming. I’m speaking to Vicki, Shannon, Meghan (Your step-daughter now gets to replay how shitty she was to her dead mother over and over!) and Tamra! Heather you only show snippets, let’s keep it that way.
2.) DO NOT EVER Put Your Bowel, Gut, or Phlegm Functions on TV! From your “coughed up” green mucus, to David’s fingernails needing a scrub after filming “Backdoor Shannon,” we the viewers NEVER want to hear about it again. EVER! Do you think this is remotely good for your sex-life? I’m guessing David has lots of headaches….like a lot, a lot.
3.) Andy Cohen is “The Devil”…..full-on “Rosemary’s Baby-Daddy Devil!! Ok I already knew this after years of watching #RHONJ, but he doesn’t even try to hide his glee when one of the wives does something horrid….
4.) Satan didn’t make Vicki call Brianna a “Shit-stirrer” …..her empty “Love-Tank” did.
5.) Never Take Xanax Before Filming And Lie About It. Perhaps Vicki missed Ramona Singer’s famous “nodding-off” during The Real Housewives Of New York Reunion?
6.) “Amazing Grace” is best left to the professionals…
8.) Never Let The RHOC Film Dry. Poor #VodkaShannon, Shannon Beador, looked like she was having withdrawal symptoms by the 3rd commercial break. The other franchises had booze? Why punish Xanax Vicky, Champs Heather, and Vodka Shannon? You thought I was kidding with number #3 right? Ha! Andy can be EVIL.
9.) Vicki has a Superpower and no one cares.
10.) Jesus-Jugs is alive and well, living with Eddie Judge, and still nursing son Ryan who will never be weaned as long as Mom’s pockets remain open.
See you next Monday for Part #2!!
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