I’m in mourning..
#BelowDeck is part of my black little soul and it is over!! OK, not really. There is still a 2-part reunion special, plus a possible “Lost Footage” surprise up Little Andy’s sleeve. Goodie! Let’s get to the action…
First off let me convey my utter dismay to the fans on Twitter who have never seen nor heard of Monty Python, and therefore did not see the humor in my “Flesh-wound” meme. As a humorist it makes me sad when my jokes go down like a string quartet on the Titanic. Not one to give up on an audience, I have decided to educate you with a clip from,”Monty Python And The Holy Grail” so you can appreciate Ben’s cut just a little more….
After poor Ben cuts himself preparing quail for the primary’s dinner, he realizes the one good hand he has left isn’t enough to finish the job. (Insert obvious hand-job joke here) After trying to prepare an onion with the Ronco Slice-O-Matic our English kitchen hottie knows he can’t perform alone. Ben decides to enlist #SybilOfTheSea Rockhead to help him finish. Ben is actually able to control Sybil in his galley. She seems to respond to a firm hand (Eddie says that too BTW) and the encouragement charming Ben throws her way. #Frankenfood was great training for Sybil, and taught her unbelievable pairings like calamari and ice cream with a squid ink smear plus calamari cookies on the side. Makes sense now why she put grenadine on oysters, right? But our Ben can reel in Sybil’s “creative” dish suggestions with a flat “NO!”
Connie is called into the “Stud Of The Sea” lair aka the wheelhouse by the Captain himself. Getting called on the radio by Captain Lee is historically very bad. It usually means you’ve set a fire, gotten drunk and stolen vodka bottles from a bar, made beef-cheeks a dozen times, or made a towel into a dick/rocket ship. Connie lucked out and instead was asked to stay on the #Eros as it continued to the Mediterranean for additional charters. Great tie-in for the new series #BelowDeck: Mediterranean filming now. Go Connie! She was truly the best all-around player on Season 3 of Below Deck. Emile Kotze is visibly upset he didn’t get the job and Connie rubs his cute little nose in it.
Back in the kitchen Ben Robinson is making Rocky his bitch……..it is so good. Ben demands perfection and Rocky/Sybil can’t handle his directions. She has to leave the galley and have a temper tantrum while putting on one of her 7 personalities. Rocky decides to become “positive/compliant” Sybil who takes all suggestions as a way to develop her inner Chi. Ben needs to be scared and keep both eyes on the knife-wielding whacko. Honestly, all Ben has to do is turn on his patented panty-dropping charm to make Rocky perform, and she does. Crispy quail was a success and Sybil got a hug from “My Ben.” Not fair.
In the morning as Chef Ben tries to prepare sausages for the guests, Sybil/Rocky decides to let him know her hot buns are ready. Of course she says it in front of Eddie and Emile too. You can never get too much attention when your name is #SybilOfTheSea. Eddie can’t leave the galley fast enough, but poor Emile has become a glutton for punishment. Sybil/Rocky cooking sausages in front of him is the closest thing to sex he’s ever going to get from her.
Guest Vito from last week, and his tuft of man hair, are still on the boat. Vito likes meat and sexual frustration. He’s the only millionaire who brings hot women on a yacht, and doesn’t get laid. Say it with me Vito……”Hair Club For Men.” Luckily he and his harem leave the boat after a meaty breakfast and drop a $13K tip. During the crew meeting “kind Sybil” tells Kate and Amy sorry for her behavior and how much she loves and appreciates them. They were as shocked as the viewers by yet another personality change.
Amy Johnson decides (is told by producers) to tell Eddie Lucas that Sybil is letting people know they hooked up. Amy doesn’t usually just wake-up and tattle on someone. This scene was carefully contrived by producers on the last day of filming. Up to this point Eddie believed his boinking had been kept a secret. That’s where Raquel “Sybil” Bartlow’s experience in Reality TV drama kicks in. Sybil and the folks from 51 Minds planned this ambush all along. When Sybil was jilted by “Eduardo Loves The Ladies” right after the spin cycle completed, she wanted revenge. I immediately thought of the film “Fatal Attraction” and how much Glen Close’s character Alex reminded me of Sybil/Rocky.
Let’s be crystal clear, Eddie Lucas is not innocent. He played hide-the-sausage with a complete psycho because she had a nice ass, and he was horny. What isn’t so clear are Rocky’s motivations. Was she looking for a hook-up to exploit on #BelowDeck via an agreement with producers prior to filming? Or is she just a horny mess hook-up who felt scorned when Eddie didn’t want to do any more laundry? I 100% feel she was planted by producers, and sold them a storyline to be cast on the show. Rocky LOVES attention and truly wants to be a TV star. Is this what she was willing to do to keep the focus on her? YES!!! Why else would you show Eddie’s texts to the camera and give producers a HUGE bone to play with? #Famewhore
After Eddie Lucas is blind-sided by Amy’s revelations, he immediately goes into panic mode. His first instinct is to cover-up his mistakes by confronting Rocky and trying to intimidate her into recanting her story. Sybil/Rocky reverts to a child-like personality hiding beneath her pillow and bunk blanket from Eddie. Unfortunately the bedding doesn’t block out the cameraman, Eddie, Amy, Emile and Dave Trouble. Eddie really pushes Rocky to tell their crewmates she is lying about their laundry room love. Not his finest moment. Eddie’s behavior ruined his image as an upstanding boy scout forever and his relationship at home. When you get in bed (or on top of a dryer) with dogs, the flea bites are real. Rocky also knew Eddie had a girlfriend. She was told at the beginning of the season by Amy, plus it was common knowledge. Trying to gain more sympathy by acting like “the woman scorned” doesn’t apply in the case Sybil/Rocky, but nice try!
After Eddie’s conversation with Sybil went down, the boy was a mess. He went up on deck with shaking hands and began drinking and smoking cigarettes. You can tell he’s devastated and not used to lying as he does it so poorly. Eddie tells Emile Sybil is a huge liar, but Emile isn’t buying it. Emile believes in Rocky and her magical vagina he’s never going to get inside. Within 5 minutes the entire boat knows of the affair. Nobody cares except Emile, Sybil, and Eddie.
A beach party has been arranged for the cast after Eros docks. It’s super uncomfortable to watch. Production obviously wants this to turn into an shit-fest, which it does. Rocky approaches Eddie at the cabana bar and wants to talk. Eddie admits his wrong doing, but doesn’t understand why Rocky had to tell everyone. Rocky doesn’t tell him why but we all know the reason. Sybil needed revenge for being the side-chick Eddie ignored after he realized she was imbalanced. Jumping off a boat naked that you are working on because Leon left doesn’t inspire desire, it inspires restraining order Sybil.
At the party Eddie and Sybil announce to the crew they boned. Gee….really? Captain Lee isn’t amused telling Eddie he’s ashamed of the bull-shit facade he’s been playing with a 3rd stew. Eddie says it’s hard having the Captain’s disappointment on his shoulders, and compares it to his father being embarrassed by him. Sybil and Eddie then resort to another argument about their hook-up. Sybil looks dead into the camera, for the first time this season, and asks,”Was I just a piece of ass?” America bursts into laughter with a hearty “YES!!!” RIP Sybil and Eddie.
Goodbyes and hugs amongst the crew are said in the morning. Eddie Lucas takes his walk of shame down the dock into Reality TV history.I doubt he will ever come back after getting #Sybilled. Rocky decides to go for one last #Famewhore moment, and dives off the side of the Eros before leaving. It leaves you flat as a viewer because you’ve seen that move, and the mermaid tail one too many times. Goodbye Sybil/Rocky….you’ve made meme season fun.
Love you #BelowDeck !!! Can’t wait until the reunion!! Until then enjoy a sneak peek below ~Bitch By Bravo