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10 Takeaways From the #BelowDeck Reunion aka An Hour Held Hostage by Rocky

 

decisions by bravo

It’s reunion time again for Below Deck. In its 3rd season, this fan-favorite BravoTV show was given a full-fledged 2-part production! Way to go Andy Cohen! Instead of boring myself with a play by play recap of the constant “He said, She said” so often associated with Bravo reunions, I decided to deliver 10 solid facts I learned from tonight’s program. Hope you enjoy reading them!

ek4

  1. Emile Kotze suffers from “yachtstipation” meaning his ability to take a crap on Charter can only be assisted  by whacking off 3-6 times per day. This fact is as fascinating as it is truly disgusting….

direct hit by bravo

 

2. Rocky accused Kate Chastain of drinking during the Eros kitchen fire out of an invisible mug. I reviewed the footage and found no mug before or after the fire on any surface in the galley. The viewing audience and I agree that Kate deserves a pass if the wine allegation is true. How else can you retain your sanity as “Crocky’s” manager? Since Rocky enjoys changing her name on “IMDB” I changed it again to reflect that 99% of what she says is a crock of shit.

 

torisashi-raw-chicken-sashimi-okayama

3. Rocky’s crew dinner wasn’t raw, it was “Chicken Sushi.”

Frankenfood Rocky

 

4.  Rocky claims to hate being a stew on yachts, yet is now employed as one again. Guess those skills she claimed no one took the time to teach her paid off. Plus her career as a chef was over after whipping up “Oreo Salad” and “Grenadine Oysters,” that made a guest erupt like a vomit volcano….

connie

5. Connie recommends a “Good bang” to improve crew relations.

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6. Captain Lee wants Rocky to own her shit. “If you get caught with your tit in a ringer, Guess what? it’s because you put it there. I’ve seen everyone except you Rocky own their mistakes!” Sometimes you want to jump through the camera and kiss Captain Lee for not being afraid to say what everyone is thinking. “Tit in a Ringer” will be available on mugs and tees at shopbybravo.com Monday.

Rocky Broadway

7. “You can’t handle the list, Rocky!!” Both Connie and Rocky came on board with no yachtie skills, yet at the end of the season Connie received a promotion and Rocky dove off the mast. The difference between the two women is a performance attitude. Connie came on board to work and better herself, Rocky came on board to get discovered by Hollywood. One of these two intents is reasonable Connie.

Butterflies By Bravo

8. Rocky’s inability to look at the camera during interviews may be tied to liars being unable to look the person they are lying to directly in the eye…..She is looking at the ceiling during the reunion too and it’s GD annoying.

Rockys truth

9. Rocky Dakota or her IMDB alter-ego Raquel Bartlow went to Culinary school for an entire year (LMAO) yet still can’t comprehend clean pans don’t cause fires even when you want them too!

rockys logic by Bravo

10.  Rocky is so infuriating with her fantasy-based comments that even the unflappable Captain Lee lost patience with her 3 times during the first part of the reunion. We are predicting there will be many more outbursts in part 2.

Until next week, hold on to your “Beef-Cheeks!”

~Bitch By Bravo

 

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About bitchbybravo (364 Articles)
Blogging under an alias so I don't have to kill you after reading....

13 Comments on 10 Takeaways From the #BelowDeck Reunion aka An Hour Held Hostage by Rocky

  1. Below Deck reunion is playing on Bravo again. Rocky is claiming that Kate is so mean on Twitter and Andy, of course, just happens to read a few of Kate’s. I question why he did not point out that Rocky was also nasty tweeting about Kate and posting pictures of witches to describe her. Rocky also posted in her shout out to Leon… F**k that Bi**h (meaning Kate) and that she was going to stick it up her butt… and laughed about the honey Leon poured in Kate’s bed when he left. Looking at Rocky’s twitter now, it appears that she deleted them. Also – when Rocky is talking about the fire, she said it could have been drippings from the Pizza …how can that happen when the pizza was on a pan with SIDES, not a flat pan!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My son was watching the reunion and said why does that Rocky smile like that she looks nuts!

    I have watched this show from the first season, and Andy is going to ruin is if he lets characters like Rocky corrupt it. I don’t want to see trash I want to see life on a luxury boat. It’s just like how the housewives shows have been ruined by trash like Brandy. I don’t want to see them I want to watch people go on trips I can’t afford, live in houses I can’t buy, and stores I can’t shop at.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your site and your humor…you give me much needed laughter. I hope you are feeling better. I had to share a comment I saw under the Below Deck Facebook/November 25 @ 11:25am post. The comment was made by Alan Miller – the 50th Birthday Boys Charter. The comment states the following “Just for the record – my birthday dinner that Rocky made not only made me sick during dinner but no one could even eat the steak. We simply did not want to be impolite. We had no idea who cooked it. Sorry Rocky it was horrible.” I cannot confirm it as authentic but wanted to share with you. Have a great weekend!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is spot on! The crew of Below Deck has become one of my favorite casts in the “Reality” world, but this season left me questioning my use of that hour each week. You-know-who (she’s had her fifteen minutes) will, hopefully, take a back seat (or receive some duck tape) for Part 2 of the reunion. I would like to hear from the rest of the crew.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is excellent and so on point!!! I found myself very frustrated that she received SO much attention during this first hour. One can only hope the focus will be more about the rest of the crew, rather than you-know-who, during the second hour. I’ve loved this cast from the beginning, but this season left me questioning the use of my time during that hour.😤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Rocky held the whole reunion captive. Great accomplishment if you’re INTERESTING, not if you’re an unstable, lying, nymphomaniac who cries “rape” after every lay. Great layout, bitchbybravo. And Emile is just simply ridiculous, with his sweaty palms and his mid-show meltdown, in his awful grandpa suit. A disgusting, smarmy child. Kate was so genteel I wanted to give her a medal, then yell at her for being so genteel. Rocky tried to dismantle the career of a proud professional, and a really funny dame, which is reprehensible. Rocky just swings her hips, flips her hair, and cries every other minute. A maddening whore…er….BORE! Where are all her tears now, by the way? Was that ACTING before, all that constant crying? And thanks Capt. Lee for speaking the truth to Rocky. She tried to do some really bad stuff to Eddie. There was NEVER a romance there. She was getting her “release”, remember? She’s trying to take him down now, after the fact? She shouldn’t be able to get a job ANYWHERE. She is a SNITCH and a LIAR. I hope they get rid of her in the first five minutes, next week, so the rest of the cast can talk. Either that or just tape her mouth shut and let her squirm. Squirming appears to be the only thing she’s good at.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s hard to find humor in Rocky’s attempts to tear down people’s reputations. Really, all Kate did is be honest that Rocky wasn’t working up to luxury yacht stew standards. All Eddie did was help himself to what she was dangling in front of him, then got infuriated by her 7 hour awol from duty! What infuriates Captain Lee the most is her disregard for truth, honor and duty–the code that seaman must live by.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Seriously tho, what was with the Emile being constipated thing? I am not connecting the dots. Am I missing something? 😳

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I am so loving this! I want a service of twelve of those “Tit in a wringer” cups!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I was very disappointed in Andy’s interview with the BD crew. He seemed to pick certain crew and embellish Rocky. Your layout here is far better than Cohen did. Thanks for the awesome recap.

    Liked by 2 people

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