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#RHOBH Has Officially Become “Days Of Our Lies” As Erika Jayne Throws EVERYONE Under The Bus While Bravo Continues To Script The Integrity Out of “Reality” TV

kr

As dedicated readers of this blog and of my mentor StoopidHousewives.com know, both author’s have a low tolerance for the bullshit that’s been shoved into programming at BravoTV. It’s gotten so bad that I took a 2-month break during the holidays and Ms. SH is refocusing her razor-sharp writing skills on a book instead of the weekly fug-fest that is the Housewives. I tried dipping my toe back into BitchByBravo 2 weeks ago by giving the #RHOBH a nice punt in the Resnick complete with memes, but the magic is sadly gone. I care so little now for my once favorite Real Housewives of Beverly Hills that I watched an episode recorded almost a week ago tonight by mistake. I was busy devouring cheap drugstore chocolates not bought by a fucking Valentine and clicked the wrong DVR button due to the sugar shakes.

Ron-Burgundy-This-Just-In-No-One-Cares

Since my attraction for Housewives has waned to the point that Viagra can’t get my mood turned on while viewing, I’ve decided to take a different approach to recapping the episodes. I’m going to highlight why they suck. So MUCH easier than trying to find redeeming moments in Andy Cohen’s upcoming tombstone credit.

Why did this week’s #RHOBH suck you ask?

  1. #YoFo and her neverending Lyme disease rants need to be shut down. She’s actually made a mockery of a serious illness! She’s been sick for 4 years, yet after she’s been de-wormed and had her leaky implants removed she’s cured! Quit giving her IV World Tour airtime Bravo! Cryotherapy for #YoFo needs to include her head.

yofo3

2. Kyle’s helicopter ponytail move is like an attention whore’s Banshee cry! Maybe next season instead of Lyme we can explore scissors? My treat! The dance move is seemingly popular between the sisters. During this week’s #RHOBH Kyle tried to whip the audience away from Erika Jayne during her San Diego performance, but was  instead left with whiplash and a chronic case of split ends. NO KYLE! That does not mean you have permission to do the splits either.

 

 

kr tail  ponytail Kim gif

 

3. Erika Jayne proved to be a big fat liar igniting yet another Lymestorm with the ladies! You lost the viewers this week like the hair on your bald vajayjay Erika. I’m guessing Carlton, Taylor, Faye Resnick, Miss Puerto Rico, and the chick with $25,000 sunglasses have a seat for you in the #NotGonnaHappen section….

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4. Why go after Lisa Vanderpump #YoFo?? The audience and Miss Andy LOVE her! Are you forgetting what happened to Brandi Landfill? You picked a poor side-kick in Erika Jayne/Girardi. She’s not helping you with the sympathy vote after this week. You don’t want to be sitting across from Lisa V at the reunion with a Bratz doll playing defense.

yo

Geez #YoFo…….was it something I said?

Follow me on Twitter @BitchByBravo

Muaha!! B3

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About bitchbybravo (364 Articles)
Blogging under an alias so I don't have to kill you after reading....

8 Comments on #RHOBH Has Officially Become “Days Of Our Lies” As Erika Jayne Throws EVERYONE Under The Bus While Bravo Continues To Script The Integrity Out of “Reality” TV

  1. It would be interesting to see more interactions of her with her husband but I bet they are few and far between.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Why didn’t Erika just tell Rinna, “Ya I said it.” like a normal person and move on? She’s as cunty as her necklace warns. No wonder she’s friends with Brandi and Loada.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I didn’t understand that at ALL. She lost me there. Her necklace says it all.

      Liked by 1 person

      • donewithbravo // February 14, 2016 at 9:16 pm // Reply

        Okay, I admit that I saw it… by mistake! My daughter (27) also saw it and she said that Erika looked extremely high during that scene. So when she was talking about her “headspace”, I do think that she was out of it!!! She didn’t have the wits about her to get into details. As far as she is concerned, she’s mystifying to me!!! I was once married to an attorney, and especially a HIGH powered attorney would not be seen with a $2 whore. Sorry. Nope. She was obviously a stripper when they met, which is embarrassing enough in his line of work!! I’ve never heard of her, and I know a lot about music. Maybe she’s just another one of those non-famous dance music people?? Her speaking voice is horribly annoying!!! I would NEVER guess that she had the pipes to sing, and her act is full of smoke and mirrors. HOWEVER, when I heard her doing her voice lessons and trying her hand at operatic music, I was impressed (if that really WAS her voice!). So……… she’s just another little sound bite filler piece for the show. She’s there to support the failing Yolo, who is finally being called out for her Munchausen’s (thanks to S.H.!!!). Nothing Yolo says makes sense to me. Having come from NY (for my first 48 years!), I am all too familiar with Lyme Disease. This chick was a liar from the get-go!!! And *I* have silicone leakage, however mine was/is a much worse scenario, where they couldn’t get it all. They got what they were able to reach, and some of it landed on my sinus cavity, causing intense, immense daily pain. So, this chick pisses me off, as a chronic pain survivor. Blech! I do hope that these franchises just die and burn. NO one is interested in blogging about them anymore, and this is the timeframe that we all were waiting for–for them to just crash and burn! Well, I’ll be secretly doing my happy dance as Miss Andy burns in hell!!

        Liked by 2 people

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