It’s been a hot minute since I last recapped my favorite Reality TV shows and shared my thoughts with the world. A couple of real-time events seriously altered my writing mojo. I had a bad car accident on 9/15/2014 and ever since then they have been trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. So far that has included 2 back surgeries with all the trimmings and a 3rd coming up in December. Needless to say, there were several months of pity parties, pain, and bigger fish to fry that didn’t include Real Housewives.
Enough of the personal! Let’s chat about Captain Lee & co!
So last week we lost the token seasonal dead-weight Jeff Spicoli aka Trevor Walker. During the first 15 minutes of Below Deck’s season premiere episode, I had an immediate asshat vibe from Trevor. It inspired this masterpiece:
To which Captain Lee Rosbach replied…
Putting 2 + 2 together and taking it as 8 I decided the Captain and I had similar misgivings about Trevor. He lasted longer than I anticipated. But after making remarks about his female co-workers that would make Donald Trump proud, it was time for Spicoli and his model hair to exit.
Even Ben, who usually roots for the underdog (Hello Danny ugh) had enough of Trevor’s drunk appreciation for Sierra’s ample attributes.
Bye Bye Senior Dickhand Trevor! He gave BravoTV.com a quick exit interview:
Bravotv.com: What was going through your mind when Captain Lee made the decision to let you go?
TW: When captain Lee let me go, I was just thinking about the next job and where it would be, hoping for it to be better.
Bravotv.com: Do you have any regrets?
TW: I don’t have many regrets other than possibly having a bit too much to drink.
Bravotv.com: Are you still in touch with anyone from the crew?
TW: I am not in touch with the crew at all. I don’t think I made the best impression on them, and I hope distance may make things blow over.
Meet Trevor’s replacement British deckhand Kyle Dixon below
Tonight’s episode gave me a 70’s flashback to the crew of the “Pacific Princess” on the long-running TV hit “The Love Boat.” That crew put hooking-up with the guests and each other first on the menu. Our beloved Below “Deckies” seem to be having hormonal overload too. Chief Stew Kate tries to keep in close contact with new romance Ro, driving Chef Ben nuts as he grapples with latent jealousy and irritation that Kate is no longer his partner in crime (and other places). Bosun Kelly has a crush on 2nd Stew English Rose Emily which obviously irritates the cerebral 3rd stew. Then you have Nico Suaveeeeee who’s peen should be labelled a workplace hazard. Nico flirts with female deckhand Lauren while he’s on deck duty, but after copious amounts of tequila joined Kelly in a tandem pursuit of Emily. Last week Suaveeeee’s peen chased Emily out of a bar! Emily fled to her room and locked the door to avoid the situation. Unable to find the obviously hiding Emily Nico’s peen spied 3rd Stew Sierra and pounced. Laughter ensued after an attempted drunk kiss and Nico Suaveeee went to bed alone. Clearly, all of this extracurricular activity is not lost on Captain Lee.
Kate and Ben’s relationship is key to making the clients single day Charter a success. If they are annoyed with each other History has shown it will be a bumpy boat ride. Nobody knows this better than Captain Lee Rosbach who had a unique observation about the two in his Bravo blog.
On Chef Ben Robinson-
Ben seems obsessed with the fact that someone else is taking up all the time that he and Kate used to spend together and now that she has switched his focus, he seems to be having difficulties with that. He gets all over her about the dinner, saying that he wanted that information three hours ago. News flash Ben! She gave you that info about dinner three hours ago; you were not paying attention to Kate. You only made your own life difficult for this one-day charter. No one else did. But as usual, the food was superb and on time. You hit it out of the park once again, and with a splendid breakfast thrown in to boot. I really hope you find something to help you get over this Kate thing. Just my opinion but it seems to have gotten inside your head a wee bit. Good luck with that.
On Chief Stewardess Kate Chastain-
And on the flip side, Kate, you seem really smitten with Ro. It seems as though I should have gotten you two a room at Scrub Island. She couldn’t stay away from you. I’m not sure I have seen someone as aggressive as Ro is with you. It appeared almost smothering at times. Maybe it was just me. She seemed to enjoy jerking Ben’s chain at every opportunity though. I don’t feel that your texting was interfering with your work. As you know, if I did feel that way I would have said something to you, in spite of the fact that I am (according to Kelley) totally terrified of you. I would have dug deep and found the courage to speak up somehow.
I have to agree with Captain Lee about Ro’s aggressive passion for Kate. Surprising Kate on Charter was a wonderfully romantic gesture by Ro. Kate was completely shocked and struggled to keep her composure in front of the crew. You could see her polished, professional, Chief Stew facade struggle for control against the unbridled PDA Ro was showering her with. There were moments where Kate was uncomfortable, but she let Ro take the lead. Making out in front of Ben wasn’t cool if done just to rattle him, but hopefully Ro only had Kate in mind. I hope Kate is able to watch this episode and remember only the love and joy she had with Ro. I won’t be discussing ANY of Kate’s legal situation out of respect for both women. #TeamKate
Captain Lee asks Sierra to make a cocktail for the clients called a “Painkiller.” What’s painful to watch is her hand the Captain a bottle of Advil instead of the alcohol- laden frozen hi-ball drinks for the guests. I hate the term “dumb blonde” but if the Stew fits? Sierra is also the kindest Stew ever to hit the high seas.
The crew should be functioning at 200% by this point in the season. Captain Lee isn’t happy that the exterior windows are filthy. Kelly tries making excuses insisting that the interior crew should be cleaning the glass that is dirty because it is on the inside windows. Captain Lee takes Kelly out on deck and shows him that it is the exterior window glass. Rule #1 of Below Deck : Don’t do anything to embarrass yourself or the boat. Kelly Johnson remember to listen and learn-not argue with the Captain. I have faith that you will redeem yourself next week! Thank you for the token bare chest shot again this week.
After drinking more than humanly possible the clients are barely able to sit up. Ben tries joking with Kate in the kitchen while plating the food for their dinner. Instead, Kate is texting Ro which makes Ben cranky. They fight over what time the client’s meal is to be served, which was always 9pm. Ben’s temper continues to elevate the tension in the kitchen. He sees Kate’s phone on the counter in the galley with new texts to and from Ro and isn’t happy. Does Ben still have unresolved feelings for Kate? My guess is it’s complicated. Dinner for the drunks is perfect and the clients soon go to their cabins to pass out.
The next morning Lauren isn’t impressing an observant Captain Lee. She’s been on duty since 6am and is sitting in the galley eating. She should be cleaning the salt off of the exterior windows and the boat. Kelly needs to establish set tasks for the crew so there is continuous movement on the deck. It will make flipping the boat between charters faster and more efficient. Ultimately mistakes made by Lauren, Nico, and Kyle reflect on the Bosun. Kelly has to quit being best friends with his crew and start managing them. When customers are paying $100,000 a day for Charter and you/crew are making $1300 apiece in tips that boat had better look spectacular!
Since the crew did a decent job with the one-day Charter and didn’t kill the guests with the water toys Captain Lee rewarded them with a day off at a private resort. Unfortunately, the PDA with Kate and Ro seems to increase the boy’s ardor and the peens are loose again! Run English Emily, run!! Nico Suaveeeeee is a little warm from watching the Kate/Ro make out sess. Sierra and new boy Kyle also decide love is in the air. They both have being Catholic in common. Amen.
Until next week, BBB
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