#BelowDeckMed RECAP! Naked and Afraid…..

nasty news with bobby

Hi Bitchlets!

Sorry, this recap is late, but my corneas are still suffering from mammary overload after last nights Below Deck Meditteranean. I know sex sells in marketing however with an audience of 80-90% female viewers a 2-episode arc from Mr.Ass and Mrs. Tits was a tad much.  I’m guessing production asked Bobby Giancola who his fantasy charter guests would include & granted him his wish.

Badass Malia

Poor Malia deserves hazard pay for literally being in close contact with ass to the face. Personally, I would insist that the Sirocco undergo hazmat cleaning before anyone charters it again. Just like what Chef Ben Robinson did on Below Deck when Chef Leon Walker was fired.


ben is back2

Not only were the guests running around nude, filming the Naked News, and being generally “Hefner-esque” they were also bloody high maintenance. They were half-vegan, half-raw, half-gluten-free, and wholly taste-free. My heart goes out to Malia’s future baby-daddy Chef Adam Glick who has yet to cook a single piece of meat 4 episodes in.  Bring me the middle-aged guests who want to live largely and eat fucking butter people!

chef woes

Lauren is still really unhappy and complains to Bugsy about Bobby’s behavior on the charter. Bugsy didn’t have a ton of sympathy because her Grandmother had just passed. Lauren wasn’t thinking clearly or she would have chosen elsewhere for understanding. Both stews aren’t having a happy charter season so far. Bobby sees that his ranting & raving has left him on the outs with Hannah & Lauren and decides to pull Hannah aside and apologize. Wait, what? Yes, it’s all on camera. Bobby admits fault and tells Hannah how sorry he is and that he loves her as his friend and ally. They hug it out, tears are shed, and both agree to move forward……


So WTF was the outburst on #WWHL about? Why did he bring it up there after it was resolved for all to see? Just to be a dick? I’m over it and frankly so is the audience.

Anchor woes plague Captain Sandy Yawn on this charter. Last week Bobby made a big error. This episode the 2 anchors twisted over-night in the cruel currents of Croatia. Poor Wesley (Chris Pratt’s adorable twin) as Bosun has to tell the Captain how serious the damage is, and it’s not good.

anchor advice by pratt

Captain Sandy stays calm and cool working the problem. That’s the kind of head you need in an emergency. The crew needs to stay on alert listening to directions to avoid damage to the boat and danger guests.

anchors away sandy

Malia, Max, and Wesley listen to Captain Sandy and stay focused. Bobby decides to let his adrenaline flow and run his mouth per usual. Sandy isn’t playing and tells him to be quiet and stop disrupting her train of thought. Later she tells Bosun Wes that Bobby, “Needs some work.” I concur Captain. We need S1 Bobby Giancola to reappear stat. He was humble, kind, and goofy. Made you root for him too. Now he’s a wild card both personally and professionally. Bring back the gentleman. This player act is tired and we aren’t amused.

Tits Ahoy

Until next week


Follow me on Twitter at @BitchByBravo






About bitchbybravo (369 Articles)
Blogging under an alias so I don't have to kill you....

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: