It’s me Bitchy your Cruise Directer here with a few questions I need answers to after watching Bravo’s Below Deck Med last night. I’m hoping you or the cast will respond to my quest for truth and/or best guesses. Here goes!
- Captain Sandy or Wesley, why are there always anchor issues on the Sirocco? We’ve had them drift, get horribly tangled, not set properly, etc. How does this happen?
2. Is Wesley related to Chris Pratt? They have similar looks and chests. Could they be 1/2 brothers from another mother?
3. Why does everyone seem to hate Lauren? Yeah, she banged Bobby, but why hold that against her? We all make mistakes. Seems like the deckhands all have an agenda with her. Did Bobby badmouth her to the crew so they would be mean? The girl is an emotional wreck. You don’t kick co-workers when they are the new kid. She’s sensitive and an easy target who keeps waving an olive branch.
4. Why didn’t anyone bother to wake Hannah up AND TELL HER 10 extra asshats came aboard to pillage the bar and steal towels? Chef Adam made the right call to wake the chief stew but forgot to tell her 18 guests were now on board? #TeamsWin and tips get bigger when people don’t have to wait while one person makes 18 different drinks.
5. Chef Adam…….oh Chef Adam I have a bone to pick with you. Why would you pull Bugsy aside and compare her work ethic to Hannah’s after your night out and on camera? What good could possibly come from that? Bugs was mortified! This comment could have huge consequences on future charters with morale, teamwork, and physical violence when your Chief Stew hears the news. Bugsy is now in a no-win situation being pitted against Hannah instead of staying in the lane she was hired for. Ugh….
6. I hosted a “Who’d You Rather” poll among the men of Below Deck Med last night. Chef Adam Glick was in the lead until the final 15 minutes of the episode. Wesley pulled ahead of Adam after the Chef insulted Hannah behind her back and tried to cock-block the Bosun. What happened to Bobby?? Oh yeah, he insulted Hannah too. Lessons learned the hard way…..
7. Is Malia a Mermaid or just an impossibly irresistible female force? I need to know. Everyone wants a bite of this beautiful girl who has admitted to friendships with fish, but do Mermaids wear perfume by Tory Burch? This one does. Her siren’s call has already caused Bobby to accuse Hannah & Lauren of “cockblocking” has made Wesley forget his rule about dating deckhands and has caused Adam to lose his mind agreeing that Siracha sauce is delicious on cold mashed potatoes. Malia my friend the world is your oyster.
8. Why are we having shitty guests this season? We’ve had skinny bitches, a double dose of naked porn news, and this week it’s “The Stingies.” They book A SINGLE day charter to celebrate 8 family milestones plus invite Eurotrash from down the dock over to party while drinking all the booze ever imported to Croatia. The clincher? Talking about the tip money in front of the crew. Reminds me of another rich loudmouth with zero class.
9. Why would Adam pull a visibly drunk Malia into his cabin and make a pass at her after she was seen by all kissing Wesley? She wasn’t into it! Whatever happened to “Bro-Code” and being respectful?
10. What happens to Malia now? My guess is there will be double standards galore. Keep your chin up Malia! There’s no shame in your game!
Until next week
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