Good Afternoon Fair Bitchlets!
Last night’s #BelowDeckMed was highly enjoyable. Tea was served in abundance to those desperately in need. I’m not doing play-by-play recaps because they are boring. But I do offer an excellent highlight reel with all you need to know from 7/25/20117’s episode. Buckle up. It’s time to #GetBitchy
First on deck. The boy bitch fight between Wesley Walton and Chef Adam Glick over (you guessed it) Malia’s Magical Vagina. We didn’t see anything new except Chief Stew Hannah Ferrier jumping between the two men to stop any blows being thrown. #MedBugs Drake has been dissing Hannah’s leadership all season, but she didn’t step up to stop her buddies from fighting. Hannah did! Yet the Bosun never told Captain Sandy about the incident? Why didn’t Wesley tell Captain Sandy what occurred between him and Adam? She should have been made aware immediately upon returning to the yacht. A Bosun and a Chef start throwing punches in Croatia and the manager doesn’t say a word to his Captain? On another show, a plane ticket would have been issued immediately. After crying about his ripped trousers and the underwear up his ass Wesley shakes off the drama with Adam again with a pep talk from Hannah. Back at the Sirocco, Malia comforts Wesley in her own special way.
In the galley, Chef Adam isn’t done with Malia, nor is deckie Max Hagley. Maxie sprays the truth like Pam on a cookie sheet. He tells Malia that all of the drama is her fault for leading Adam on by the balls to which Adam agrees and elaborates on. The camera lets us see why Adam became so unhinged during the charter season. Bitch played him like a violin. Adam confides in Hannah his true feelings about Malia and the situation he’s in with Wesley. Hannah is now mirroring what I’ve said for weeks in her talking head interview. Adam’s performance suffered because of Malia playing with his heart. It’s awesome that Adam and Hannah have mended fences and can now work better as a team. That’s why they are all there. To do the job to the best of their abilities.
Revenge is best served cold and Malia’s turn came this week. You can’t play with people’s feelings this hard and expect the world to still fall at your feet. Life doesn’t give you endless opportunities when it comes to finding love. When your looks are gone and you’re alone it won’t be so funny. Let’s hope this season of #BelowDeckMed teaches this lesson to Malibu Malia.
The Stewardesses are taking instruction from Hannah Ferrier on where their attention needs to be to prepare the boat for charter. This gives #MedBugs Malone ample opportunity to engage Lauren Cohen in more Hannah bashing. Cruella de #MedBugs wants to skin her Chief Stew and wear her like last year’s Versace. Why so jealous Bugs? You have systematically targeted your own boss for personal gain and turned much of the crew against her. That isn’t Chief Stew behavior. It’s a sociopath’s. Watch your back, Hannah. Can you imagine another Captain hiring #MedBugs after seeing her turn the team inside out with her venom? I didn’t think so.
The Charter guests are swingers and high maintenance. New money and dirty deeds below deck. Enough said. It’s a one day charter with a black-tie Texas themed dinner for the sexually liberated guests. Once on board, they are demanding 24/7. Adam’s meals are perfection. He’s back on his game after giving Malia the heave-ho. I feel dirty commenting further. After an overnight orgy and breakfast, they are thankfully gone. Let’s hope Hannah makes Bugsy do the dirty sheets as payback. Wear gloves #MedBugs
On deck, the following morning after jacking up the anchor Malia confronts Bobby about his attitude. He’s still royally chapped about being passed over as the lead deckhand. In any other workplace, you could smell the discrimination lawsuit. But with the Sirocco deckhands, anything goes! Kiss your boss during anchor watch and you too can get promoted! Haven’t we had enough anchor issues this season? It’s all making perfect sense now. The only thing being watched at night is Malia’s ass.
With the tip meeting over it’s time to party again. You have to love production shoving copious amounts of adult beverages down the throats of the over-tired crew. They know it’s going to feed the drama and storylines. #Medbugs Malone is sitting there snarking with Malia at how Adam and Hannah are acting like best friends though she’s ensured their discord all season. For Chef Adam and Hannah, it’s revenge time. They both know knives are being thrown at their backs and decide to throw some well-earned gasoline onto the fire. The kiss hits its mark!
And for Malia White? Her powers over the men of Sirocco have disappeared…..
After seeing a tipsy Hannah back to the boat Adam shares evidence of Malia’s betrayal to Wesley in a preview clip of next week’s show. It is a very interesting group of text messages. Here’s a screen shot!
Notice at the bottom of the message Malia is throwing Hannah under the bus again? She and #Medbugs Malone had an agenda all season. Suck up to Captain Sandy like rabid teacher’s pets and try to replace Hannah with #Medbugs for Season 3 so they can become Reality TV stars. That is what drove Bugsy, Malia, and Bobby Giancola’s actions during production. You don’t leave a job as a Firefighter to become a professional deckhand! I feel bad for Captain Sandy not seeing through the flattery and knowing what was happening beneath the bridge. But she was never in the galley for crew meals or filmed in casual conversations there enabling her to see first hand what mischief was going on. The crew got away with murder and she was unaware. I know Sandy’s work ethic and she won’t make the same mistakes next season. She will kick ass! Hopefully with Hannah Ferrier who is a pro!
Until next week! BBB @BitchByBravo
I didn’t leak news of the reunion Bitchlets. I announced after Andy Cohen posted it on Facebook!