#BelowDeckMed RECAP: “Hypocrites on the High Seas”

This was one of the best Below Deck Meditteranean episodes of the season-hands down. Dysfunction is everywhere as the cast sees the end to charters on the horizon. It had a very liberating effect on the crew who saw it as a chance to settle scores and throw any semblance of professionalism off the bow.

Score #1 #MedBugs vs Hannah Ferrier


Word of advice? If a producer tells you to confront your Chief Stew and tell her she’s lousy at her job you need to BELIEVE it. If you know you’ve been a backstabbing bitch all season your voice will shake, shake, shake.


Bugsy #Medbugs Malone has been twisting the knife since episode five and influenced Lauren Cohen, Malia White, Adam Glick, Bobby Giancola, and even Max Hagley to turn on Hannah. How is that being Chief Stewardess material? It’s not. What it is can be termed as is systematically targeted harassment designed to cause discord and destroy teamwork. Not what I’d want on my boat Captain Sandy. Hannah wins the race by remaining calm and staring down the quivering 2nd Stew.


Score #2 Chef Adam vs Malia White’s “Magical Vagina”

Chef Adam has almost redeemed himself in this Bitch’s book. He wasn’t Bipolar or a stalker unable to perform his kitchen duties properly on the charter. His problem was 5 ft blonde “I’m so pretty” Malia White, who duped the sensitive Chef into believing they had potential as a couple.

adams rib

Every time she flirted openly with Wesley Walton in front of Adam you could see the pain in his eyes and his attitude towards his job suffer. Malia played a double game making out with Wes then sexting Adam later the same evening. What Wesley doesn’t know yet (until next week) is that Magic Vagina slept with Adam prior to the show and is still leading him on. Meanwhile, she’s earned her lead deckhand stripes by semi-boning Wesley in her top bunk for the entire crew to see. Even Bobby Giancola is calling bullshit at this point. Wesley “pulls out” at the last minute because “He’s Professional.” Neither Malia or Wesley should ever call someone out for lack of professionalism again in this lifetime. They have both jumped the shark. But Adam Glick is going to have his day and Malia White will be fully exposed………in next week’s finale!

Malias Lies

3. Hypocrites vs. Hannah

Remember back when Hannah kissed a guest and the #MedBugs Nomi Malone gathered a posse with torches to hunt her down and destroy her credibility?


Hypocrite #1 #MedBugs has created a toxic work environment by creating dissension within the ranks. She took a clients private messages and shared them with her posse to turn them against Hannah. She then encouraged Dumb and Dumber to chase Hannah while she was off the boat provisioning hoping to gather evidence of dirty deeds. It was an Epic failure and made the 2nd Stewardess look like she’d downed a bottle of Haterade.



Hypocrite #2 Malia White tried schooling Hannah for her lack of professionalism in her talking head interviews (LMAO) while banging her way to lead deckhand and fresh cookies daily. God bless her over-developed sense of self.

bless her heart

Hypocrite #3 Bobby Giancola trashed Hannah for kissing a client and being unprofessional. But on the Med, there is a different standard for deckhands. In Bobby’s brain available vagina overrides his moral high ground. A Tinder model is all it takes to make Bobby’s mini brain kick in.


t and v

Hypocrite #4 Max Hagley admitting out loud that he would give Bobby’s penis a pass even though he smashed Hannah for kissing a guest. Bro’s before Ho’s eh, Maxie?


Hypocrite #5 Wesley Walton for making out with Malia and promoting her to lead deckhand, after trashing Hannah Ferrier for kissing a guest. The boys on the boat have a DOUBLE STANDARD. Kicking #MedBugs out of her bunk to bone your new lead deckhand? Priceless.

Well #Bitchlets

Next week is the Finale.

I predict Hannah Ferrier and Chef Adam Glick will win the season and kill the Lanisters.

Thoughts? Share them here or on Twitter @BitchByBravo






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4 Comments on #BelowDeckMed RECAP: “Hypocrites on the High Seas”

  1. Hilarious Hypocrisy on the High Seas! I mean it’s absurd they can keep attacking Hannah like that and then behave much worse than she did with no self awareness or moral compass–it’s ridiculous. And it’s nasty the way they’re ganging up on her like a bunch of piranhas! It’s a good thing our Hannah is such a strong woman she can stand up to the lot of them! It’s so funny that Bugs who has been Machiavellian in her plotting to turn the whole crew against Hannah is literally shaking in her boots when she attacks Hannah whereas Hannah is cool and solid as a rock. When Bugs is doing the attacking and has the whole crew poisoned against Hannah! Anyway, incisive article, you really lined them all up and knocked them all down. To be honest I’m glad next week is the finale and I hope that next season they leave Bugs, Malia, Bobby and Wes on the dock!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Denocarcinoma // August 4, 2017 at 6:58 pm // Reply

    SPOT ON! The level of hypocrisy is almost unbelievable. You can’t just shrug it off and excuse that kind of behavior, but they will. I’m interested in the Malia fallout next week, she claimed on Twitter that she never slept with Adam, should be interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

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