Hello, precious Bitchlets
Well, we are 2 episodes in and I’m already feeling uncomfortable. Not a great sign for the seas ahead. Last week I mentioned something about Captain Sandy being salty towards Hannah that had set off my radar. Unfortunately, I was on point. Ugh. So let’s jump in and highlight a few moments from last night’s “Bad Vibrations” episode.
Jezabob: The creature from Zimbabwe that believes disrespecting women is his right. Our POTUS would be proud of such a man. His mouth and penis are everywhere they shouldn’t be during the crew’s night out. Back at the boat, his fingers join the party, first in Adam’s ice cream and then in Brooke. #JustVile did get schooled on Twitter by my Bravo Boyfriend. Nuff said.
Vadge Squad: The primary guest arrives and is Captain Sandy’s special friend. She’s gotten rich by rejuvenating vaginas. Insert pun here. Nothing says “make a crew comfortable” more than having a guest hand out electronic clit stimulators. Captain Sandy was tasked to provide feedback after taking an in-cabin test drive. Thanks for the visual Bravo.
Talisman Docked: The weather decided to be a bitch so the boat could not leave the dock. I’d need more than a Pocket Rocket to keep me happy if I’d bought a yacht charter that couldn’t cruise. Captain Sandy put the fear of God into the crew over her expectations for exceptional service and diverting activities. Apparently, Conrad didn’t get the memo? He was told to put the tender in the water so the guests could get the feeling of being on a boat and hopefully not die. Told several times as we see in the flashback conversations. I have daughters and call that behavior selective hearing. Maybe he was more focused on shammies?
3rd Stew Woes: Kasey can vomit, avoid all work by being seasick, and when she’s well enough to actually pull her weight demonstrates that she’s never done laundry. But hey, she’s pretty!
No Shoes? There is a rule in the superyacht world that is universal. NO SHOES on the boat. Why? Because they damage the interior surfaces and can cost thousands of dollars to repair. Yacht brokers and owners wouldn’t be very happy to have a Captain piss on those rules. That clit stimulator must have been working overtime because Captain Sandy said to hell with it and allowed her special friends to wear shoes all over the salon. Part of being a leader is anticipating outcomes and consequences of your decisions with staff. Either Captain Sandy didn’t give her decision any thought or she knew who would have to clean up the mess. It fell to Hannah. Her staff has to follow a regular schedule of hours of work, meals, breaks, and sleep. If there are problems it falls on the shoulders of Chief Stew to fix them. So while Captain Sandy slept Hannah cleaned carpets. It was nice that Conrad saw the mess and helped Hannahrella.
Breakfast Sucked! Captain Sandy joined the vadge squad for breakfast. Hannah has 2 stews on service which is completely normal. She’s in the wheelhouse provisioning for the next trip. That’s what chief stews do. They fit in tasks when they can and juggle balls in the air. After Sandy waits 15 minutes for her order of dry toast (The horror!!), she goes to find Hannah to tell her that breakfast service was pure trash. This isn’t Denny’s, it’s a super-yacht! Hannah breaks down in the wheelhouse telling Sandy she’s on provisions instead of doing service because she has blisters on her hands from using a spoon to fix carpet. Sandy doesn’t care and blames her for not having staff do it instead. WTF??? What staff? You mean Brooke right? Sandy knows all about the vomiting stew Kasey who hasn’t done anything yet so what staff is she referring to?? Captain Sandy never wanted Hannah for Chief Stew and now it’s clear she’s going to push that agenda and Hannah off of the Talisman if she can. Be careful Captain. You might sink your own ship if you continue down this path. This is RealityTV and anyone can be cut if they don’t play nicely with others. Hannah Ferrier is a #BelowDeckMed OG and fan fave. You won’t make friends or fans by being cruel to her IMO.
#HanRad Since both Conrad and Hannah were in trouble this week it’s easy to see how the relationship started. They both needed someone to confide in. It’s not easy being away from people you trust at sea (or docked). Plus, they have the ability to provide benefits for each other when drunk. Here’s to you #HanRad !!!
And here’s to you Bitchlets!
Tell me what you think on Twitter or in the comments section.
Much love @BitchByBravo