Hello Bitchlets!

Can you believe we are only 4 episodes in? It feels like we’ve been at sea too long already! Maybe it’s just me, but the agenda pushing on the Med is worse than the weather from episode 3. Let’s break down the highlights!

 Still Toasted:  Yes, we are still talking about the fucking toast. (I’ve switched to bagels in protest) There is a green crew running around the boat and a missing 3rd stewardess yet Captain Sandy’s main beef is her stupid toast and late omelet? Big picture items need tending to first. While we still aren’t sure if Kasey is going to be able to function HIRE a replacement/temp! You can’t expect 5-star service on a huge boat from a chief stew who area isn’t fully staffed. There are hundreds of deckies in every port during the charter season. Try calling one instead of using the toast against Hannah Ferrier. Nitpicking Hannah while being understaffed makes you look like you have it out for her.

Conrad’s Leadership: The tender was Conrad’s mistake and he owned it. His biggest challenge is having Harvey Weinstein’s nephew Joao on the boat. Nothing like having a predator on board to undermine your authority, beat down your female deckhand, and be an over-all menace when drunk. I have no idea what Kasey and Brooke see in this walking neanderthal. But if Conrad wants to succeed Joao needs to go.

#HanRad: Finally Conrad and Hannah get to first base! The only thing that ruined the moment for me was the cheap porn music production played in the background. Relive the moment in the video clip>>> http://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-3/episode-4/videos/conrad-empson-kisses-hannah-ferrier

Adam Backstabs Hannah: Chef Adam Glick decided not to return to Twitter during his second season on #BelowDeckMed and now I see why. In order to save himself after his poor breakfast performance, he throws Hannah’s interior under the bus to Captain Sandy. WTF?? Maybe if he wrote down food orders he wouldn’t get so flustered. The new guests are a taste of karmic retribution as they have more specific preferences than Loreal. However, it’s nice to see a grown man cry now and then. After his California Pizza Kitchen version of Chinese chicken salad went down in flames, Adam scrambles together some mystery pasta and shrimp. Isn’t this supposed to be haute cuisine? With menus? The only thing missing from lunch are hay bales and plastic utensils. Realizing he screwed up Adam blames the guests instead of his own craptastic food. Enter Sandy with the provision sheet part 2. I don’t think Glick has the skillset for the job. He is really good at covering his own ass by whatever means necessary. Relive the moment when Captain Sandy bails Adam out with the guests>>http://www.bravotv.com/below-deck-mediterranean/season-3/episode-4/videos/are-these-the-most-demanding-food-requests-in

Don Who-lio? Apparently, the wrong tequila was ordered for the picky pants guests. These people asked for Alfredo sauce with dinner. You are telling me they can taste the difference between regular Don Julio and Don Julio 1942? Bitch, please……

Enjoy the week Bitchlets and remember

Bagels NOT Toast!!

@BitchByBravo